It's A Mad World
by KenKosgrove
Summary: Alec McLane is nothing the advertising world has seen before: shy, slow, paranoid, and generally afraid of intimate relations. He keeps much to himself, but gets the job done. After hours though, the women beckon him like a siren.


"So you'll be taking care of the kids then?"

"This weekend? I think Megan has a photo-shoot."

"I talked to you about this weeks ago Don, Henry and I are going to Lake Cayuga."

"Fine, what time are you dropping them off?" He mumbled.

"Well we leave this afternoon, probably around 4:00."

"I'm in the office until six." He stood, opening the blinds covering the large window.

"Then we'll drop them off at your office."

"Betts, I can't get any work done when they're here. Sally wanders abo..."

"It's just for two hours. I'm sure Joan, or one of the secretaries can handle them. I have to go, Don."

He hung up the phone in quick protest, and slouched back into his chair, rubbing his hands over his face.

"The old ball and chain got you turning tricks for her again?" Roger Sterling laughed as he walked up to the beverage cart, and filled two glasses with bourbon.

"Taking the kids this weekend." He drank from the glass that Roger passed.

"They're good kids. Good for you. Not good for the office."

"If I had a choice, I wouldn't bring them here." Don stood once again, and placed them empty glass back on the cart.

"Oh well. Guess we'll let the secretaries have a run at them. Give a chance for your boy to practice on the ladies." Roger winked, and Don smiled lightly. He opened the door and Roger followed him out.

* * *

"Alright pretend you're a housewife. What are you looking for in a vacuum?"

"But I'm not a housewife." Stan Rizzo protested, shaking a thin cigar in his hand.

"Just pretend you are." Peggy buffed.

"I'm trying." He stood from his chair. "I dunno, I'd want it to suck real well."

"I bet you do, Stan." Ken Cosgrove walked in behind him and the group laughed.

"Like suction, sickos." He protested once again. "Dependability, strength. You're the woman, what do you look for in a vacuum?"

"I guess how easily it moves."

At that moment, Don Draper moved into the recess of the creative room. "Where are we on the Electrolux spread?"

"You came in half an hour ago and asked the same question." Peggy grumbled.

"Because I was hoping it would have changed. I want an idea by 6:00; Dick Fenland is coming in on Tuesday. I want to give them something at least." He proceeded out of the room and moved swiftly for a cigarette in his pocket.

"Looks like we'll be ordering lunch in then." Stan picked up the phone.

* * *

"Can I get you a coffee Mr. Draper?" Joan asked cordially as she stepped out of her office. "I'm just on my way for myself, I thought I would ask."

"Sure, thanks Joan." He looked around quickly.

"Is something bothering you?" She pushed.

"No, I just have a lot on my mind. I'll be back in fifteen minutes, when that McLane kid gets in, tell him to go to creative. They need him there."

"I will certainly. I'll put the coffee on your desk."

Don moved swiftly away, which left Joan in the hall alone. She strutted past the many offices of their first floor eventually reaching the break room. The bustling secretaries dispersed quietly as she moved in to fill the cups.

"Oh don't be so worried, I was a secretary too." She smiled quietly as the girls returned the favour, and began talking more loudly about office gossip. Their "Jim slept with Carol" stories didn't peak Joan's interests anymore. Bob Benson stepped into the office and smiled rising his coffee to her: she smiled, and returned the favour.

* * *

Alec McLane walked through the tall wooden doors of Sterling Cooper and Partners at 11:07 am. He was let in by one of the newer secretaries who had forgotten who he was, because frankly, he was easily forgotten.

He stood a sturdy five foot ten inches tall, a light build, blonde hair, and wore a deep beige suit. Tortoiseshell horn rimmed glasses framed his eyes with a dark tint, and he looked either to be upset, or deep in thought. He would attribute the latter, but most would think the former. Roger Sterling hired him on an impulse when the young man of only 23 years sold him his father's other Duesenberg Model J for fifty cents on the dollar three weeks previous. Alec had been out of a job, and was scrounging for money. His meager and meek attitude towards work delayed him severely in his conquests to dominate the workforce, or so his father had said. It was truly Frank McLane who had landed the job for Alec: he set up the deal, and all Alec did was follow instructions.

At 11:08, Alec threw down his briefcase in the tiny office he shared with Peggy Olsen, and strutted to grab coffee. Upon entering the break room, he encountered Joan Harris. The buxom redhead frightened his nerves severely and he brushed his slicked hair over to calm himself.

"Mr. McLane, good to see you." She smiled, and immediately he gravitated away, avoiding prolonged eye contact.

"You… You as well." He stuttered slightly.

"Mr. Draper wants you to help out on the Electrolux account; I believe their brainstorming in the creative room now." She drank her coffee with such authority that Alec nearly spilled his own drink while pouring.

"Yes, yes, certainly Mrs. Harris… I mean Ms. I'm sorry, I... I'm forgetful sometimes."

"Think nothing of it." She grasped his forearm with her hand. "And don't worry so much. Especially about me, I don't bite." She laughed, and the secretaries followed. The young man's face flushed as he drank a large dollop of coffee.

"Yes, I'll be sure to. If you'll excuse me." He moved past her and sifted from the break room.

"He's damn handsome." Clara, Pete Campbell's secretary, mused.

"Yes, but so young. And so, well, I don't know how to phrase it. Just awkward perhaps? Clearly hasn't been with a woman in a while." Another secretary proposed.

"Or ever." Clara jibed.

"Enough," Joan silenced them. "Mr. McLane is a true gentleman, and in rankings, is above you. I suggest you watch your tones." She began leaving the room but turned coyly before departing. "But handsome is shooting him short." She laughed.

All the womanly attention in the world would be lost on Alec McLane: He was blind to it at all. His last date was to his high school prom in 64'. He wouldn't breathe it to a soul though.

* * *

The creative room was bustling with ideas, and Alec almost walked in unnoticed. Ken offered him a Rothman's which he accepted. He leaned over and lit it with his gold snap lighter. Alec inhaled deeply and sat back into a short chair in the corner, sorting through his briefcase and grabbing his notepad.

"Glad to see you made it, bud." Stan turned for a moment after he smelled toasted tobacco alight.

"Electrolux is a vacuum cleaner, no?" Alec spoke.

"Yes, Einstein. Well they sell like refrigerator's and stuff, but right now we're doing the vacuum. Now start thinking of slogans. Peggy just shot down: We suck for your buck, but I think it's still good."

McLane smiled lightly and looked down to his empty paper pad where he began doodling.

It was after 3 pounds of Chinese food, two packs of cigarettes and a lot of reefer smoked by Stan and one of the creative boys from Cutler Gleason and Chaough, that they began hitting the breast strokes of creativity.

By 3:00 they had a full ad prepared and ready to show, and Stan was finishing the drawings, completing the mock-up when Don walked back into the creative room, wet from the light drizzle outside.

"Electrolux. Electrify your life." He stood for a moment, and unwaveringly said, "Not bad. For a first draft." He then walked to Roger's office and told Dawn to hold his calls for half an hour.

"That went better than I expected." Peggy butted a calming cigarette she had barely smoked.

"For a first draft." Alec inhaled on a fresh Kool. "We could have done better."

"If we had more than four hours, I'm sure we could have. But we didn't." Stan scratched his facial hair. "Anyway, I'm going home. Actually, I'm going to the bar downstairs, anyone want to join?"

One of the CGC boys piped up and Stan and he left the building.

"I think I'll work on the new Chevy spread for the paper." Alec mumbled.

"I'll join you, if you don't mind." Peggy smiled. He returned the smile and they began working.

* * *

Roger Sterling fumbled around in his pocket for a lighter in his white empty office. He stood by the window, looking out upon the expanse of skyscraping landscape. He thought briefly of Jane, followed by Mona, and then to his son in law. Caroline boomed through the intercom.

"Mr. Sterling? Joan is on the line for you."

He stood silently for a moment as he lit a cigarette.

"Why couldn't she just walk to my office? She's five doors down."

"I don't know, do you want me to tell her to come and see you?"

"No, no I'll take it. Put it through." He grumbled, sitting down in the chair, and picking up the receiver.

"Hello Joannie."

"Roger, glad I caught you before you left."

"I'm glad too. And what can I do for my Joannie?"

"Well, its Kevin's birthday this Saturday," She began.

"Oh, shit." He leaned forward. "I guess it is."

"Yes, well, I'm having a small get together, and I'm inviting you. It's at my apartment at 6:00, Saturday."

"I'll uh," He looked around briefly. "Yeah, I'll be there."

"Good, I'm glad."

"Hey listen, Joannie, I have the house free tonight, maybe you could come over."

"Charming offer, but I can't."

"Well what about I take you out on the town? Places we could go, things to see!"

"I have a date tonight, Roger." She continued.

"Dump it; I'm probably better company anyway." Roger inhaled on his cigarette smiling to himself.

"I can't, he's been planning it for weeks, and I want to go. I want you to be part of Kevin's life. There's no guarantee about mine."

"Fine." He butted the cigarette. "Who is it, Bob Benson?"

"See you Saturday."

"See you then." He defeatedly hung up the receiver and drank a slosh of gin from a tall glass. After tightening his belt, Roger flung the door to his office open, and walked past the main stairway to the hall where Draper's office was.

"Roger." He heard a familiar feminine voice calling his name; he turned to see a smiling Betty Francis with her children.

"Betty!" He smiled back, approaching her, and kissed both cheeks. "Good to see you."

"You too. Business looks to be doing well."

"It comes, it goes. You know how it is."

Joan walked out from her office with a folder in hand, and almost ran into Betty.

"I'm so sorry!" She muttered.

"Oh, no worries." Betty smiled. "Good to see you, Joan."

"Good to see you too: and good to see your handsome children as well. I'll be back in a moment, excuse me."

Joan walked rapidly to the creative room, dropping off the Chevrolet papers.

"Draper's kids are here, get ready to babysit."

"Draper has kids?" Alec asked quietly. "I thought he and Meagan were just married last year."

"This is from his other marriage, he was married before her."

Sally and Bobby quickly ran into the creative room, and Sally sat onto the desk beside Peggy.

"How's it going Ms. Olsen?" Sally opened.

"It goes. Just finished an ad. You wanna go draw?"

"I'm kind of old for that now."

"Oh no, I mean draw with the big boys. No more colouring old adverts."

"Sure!" Sally smiled brightly. Bobby had found entertainment with a newspaper on the corner stand of the cabinet.

"Sally, this is Alec McLane. He's one of the copywriter's here, and he likes to draw."

"How did you know about that?" He looked to Peggy, and then to Sally.

"You doodle all the time. I've read through your notes before, remember."

He turned bright red once again, "Yes, I guess so."

"Well, Mr. McLane, show me how to draw!" Sally sat down beside him, eyes gazing intently with hope. He could see the youthful splendor of innocence still set in her gaze, and not the glaze of past events, hazing into the inferior.

"Alright, well what do you want to learn." He spoke slightly louder than a whisper.

"Thank you, for taking them. I know it isn't easy." Betty spoke to Don, who had just come out from his office. Dawn called him out.

"Alright. You'll pick them up Sunday then, what time?"

"8:00 then. We'll be back in the city by 6:00." There was a short silence between them, broken by Betty. "I'll just say goodbye then. Where did they go?"

"The creative room, they followed Joan in."

Betty smiled lightly to Don, and moved past him down the hall, towards the egress of the creative room. She peered in and saw Bobby, who was folding a paper into an airplane, and Sally who was sitting beside a younger man, watching intently as he drew a picture.

"Mrs. Francis." Peggy stood up to shake her hand. "Glad to see you're well."

"Likewise, Peggy."

Alec looked up, and suddenly went ridged in his form. He stood as if he was in trouble, or causing some. And he adjusted his glasses, Sally caught wind of her mother and walked to her, giving her a hug.

"You must be new here. I haven't seen you before." Betty smiled politely at Alec, who moved slowly to her. Her deep blue eyes cut into his like diamonds, as if she was looking for the answer deep into his being. He could feel his heart nearly palpitate at her and his lips became dry.

"Ye… Yes, I just started last month. I-I, uh, It's nice to meet you." He extended his hand.

Betty smiled, and joyed internally as she realized she was causing him to fumble.

"Pleasure." She shook his hand. "I'm sure I'll being seeing more of you then."

She felt wicked at the thought that this young man excited her. Just the thought of being wanted for a moment, or maybe more than that.

"Goodbye Sally. Take care of Baby Gene." She kissed her daughter on the cheek, and began walking away. "Peggy, Alec." She curtsied, and moved back down the hall.

"You need me to reattach your jaw there pal?" Stan laughed, eating the cashews he'd stolen from Pete Campbell's desk. He had returned moments earlier

"For what?" Sally asked.

"I think you two should keep drawing!" Peggy smiled. "Stan and I have lots of work to do, and it's only… 4:00" Peggy sulked.

"Are you good in here, sweetie?" Donald Draper looked quickly to Sally who smiled joyfully.

"Yeah, Alec is teaching me to draw animals."

Don smiled to his daughter. "Is it alright if she stays in here?"

"I don't see a problem." Peggy continued shifting through the paperbooks.

"Good. Thank you Alec." Don turned away quickly and marched to his office.

"First time I've ever heard the big bad wolf pay little red riding hood a compliment." Stan mused.

"Oh hush. Sally, could you go to Joan's office and grab me a stapler and two pencils."

"Sure thing, Ms. Olsen!" Sally hurried from her chair down the hall.

There was a brief silence while Stan drew on the Chevy storyboard.

"Sizing up good ole Mrs. Ex-Draper, eh there skipper?"

Alec looked up from his drawing, embarrassed.

"Faintest idea what you're talking about." He mumbled.

"I saw the way you were makin' eyes at her."

"Who hasn't Stanley." Peggy retorted in place of Alec. "She was a model. Hell, she's still only 34. Or something."

"Yeah, guess you're right. Just don't go getting any ideas." Stan laughed.

"Wouldn't dare." Alec mumbled. "Wouldn't dare."


End file.
